Are You Always This Calm?

“Or do you make yourself calm for work?”

That’s what a 13 year old asked me the other day when I momentarily stopped by her classroom. In addition to the 1-on-1 consultations I give to professionals and business owners, I sometimes work with a organization in Flatbush, Brooklyn on the professional development of their creative instructors — making sure that they are leading fun and educational situations for middle school students — and I was silently surveying the progress of hers when she asked me this.

It definitely gave me pause because it was such a deep question for a young teen! I truly didn’t expect her to ask me something like that amidst the busyness of the program. Nonetheless, my response was something along the lines of, “Yes and yes. I know I inherited my calmness from my mother’s side but also people try you everyday as you grow up. And there’s always a test to your temperament when you meet new people.” We went to discuss what temperament meant, how that related to keeping your cool, being aware of passive aggressiveness, and what “resentment” meant. The day was a long one (lol).

To my surprise, more existential questions came days later. This time from an industry peer at my local coffee shop.

“Why don’t you talk about the things you have going on? Why aren’t you [creative people] louder?”, she asks after I noted relating to the protagonist from her story. We were discussing our plans for the upcoming COLLECTIBLE design fair in NYC.

In this recount, she shared that while on set for a photoshoot she learned that her friend’s illustrated work was featured on the very shirt she wore. The problem was that not one person on-set knew this besides him (and she only learned this after the photoshoot concluded). Apparently, he was bashful about speaking up about the work. He didn’t want to take the spotlight away from the shoot, or the models working, as he felt it was unnecessary information at the stage they were at. I deeply understood the feeling.

What I also understood was that these questions I’ve been faced with recently inherently come from the same place. They stemmed from identity or, in the commercial sense, branding confidence. The teenager noticed a difference in positioning compared to the other adults they’re more accustomed to in a school setting, while the creative adult noticed a cadence from an archetype that systemically should have another. The former being used to fast-paced assertion over younger people, and the latter expecting unyielding cockiness about work shared.

The thing about branding though is that every decision is a choice after we establish the unwavering constants in the situation. While I believe my response to the inquisitive child was eloquent enough to answer her question and my own (I forgot to mention that I had a “nature versus nurture” internal dialogue in my head hours later against my will), my response towards my peer was less than ideal. Transparently, I think I answered her question with a question. A meekly asked and borderline rhetorical one, at that. I know next time around I’ll do better though.

My point here is that as a professional in the creative industry your most important branding moments are usually connected to the questions you’re either avoiding or unwaveringly sure about. Don’t know what your positioning is for your brand? Think about it from the perspective of a child. Would they say you carry yourself (your company) as a quiet giant, a proud voice, a familiar face, etc? And when you consider promotion of your work consider if you’d wait for someone else to speak up first about it or if there was a way for you to lead the conversation in a comfortable way.

That said, I hope to see some familiar faces this weekend! If you’re attending any of the days/events, please feel free to let me know.

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Image credit: Pesce Huang